I have been reading up on autism and Asperger’s Syndrome a lot lately because we have some concerns about our four year old son. He fits the characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome except for one thing, children with Asperger’s are typically known to be very anti-social. Our son is the most social child we have ever seen. In fact we get comments all the time on how out-going and social he is.
So my question is, can a child have an autism spectrum disorder and still be social?
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This question reminds me of the fact that apparently any child with autism is unable to make and maintain eye contact, something which is totally untrue. As we find out and begin to understand more about autistic spectrum disorders a lot of these long held beliefs that were set in stone are being proved wrong. A lot of children with an ASD appear to be extremely sociable but once you look a little deeper you will notice they have subtle differences in their ways of socialising. Many will watch people and then copy how they behaved, others will talk straight at you but not expect you to reply. Others become a different character who they feel confident to be and who doesn’t have the same hang ups that they do. No two people with an ASD are ever the same and the same applies when they are interacting with others. As yet we don’t know much about autism so each case needs to be looked at individually. My own daughter is profoundly autistic but she can be the most out going and sociable person there is, but it is all a facade for her to hide behind. Like you I get comments all the time from people who say she can’t possibly be autistic because she is outgoing and can maintain eye contact. If you are worried about your son get him to have an assessment with a good clinical psychologist. Good luck.
Yes, mostly girls. But, we have a 20 year old who is very social (not necessarily appropriately). He wants everyone to be his friend. He wants everyone to listen to him, or converse with him. He waxes loquaciously all the time, much to the discomfort of others.
We have another who is not overly social with his peers, but is very social with his teachers.
If your child does indeed have Asperger’s, you can be thankful that at this early stage he shows social skills. Most parents I have encountered in my elementary years, were so upset by the lack of social skills.
Yeah, he can be social and still have autism. Sometimes with autism the child can be social, but not might respect the social norms. They may constantly talk about something such as trains constantly, without recognizing their audience’s body langauge that may show that they are getting bored or have to leave. They may also interupt a lot (but what child doesn’t).
I know some children with asperger’s syndrome who are highly social, but they usually don’t follow social norms.
Autistic children are not really social, they like to isolate themselves. But your child could have a mild form of autism and still be social. I know of a few children who have autism, talk a lot. When he talks, does he just blurt things out, out of the ordinary? Or does he have real conversation with a person? Most autistic kids just blurt things out, or talk about their favorite things, (i.e. favorite food, tv shows, etc.) I would take him to a psycologist to get a true diagnosis.
Self-diagnosis is often wrong. Some children develop metal maturity levels later than others. If you think your child has autism, please consult an actual psychiatrist.
I’ve known a few autistic children in my life, and they were very friendly. However, the children I worked with didn’t have much empathy for others at times. So yes, Autistic children can be social. =]
I think so. It really just depends on the severeness of his condition. One of the girls from America’s Next Top Model has a mild form of Autism, but she did great. I don’t think just because a child has a medical condition that he/she should be labled in any way. If you put him down and tell him that he can or cannot do something then he won’t be social. The best thing to do is to encourage him, and treat him the same as any other child.
my boyfriends younger brother has autism. he’s not the most social kid, and is usually kept to himself. i dont think its always that they are non-social, they just dont have the social skills that most people have by nature. they don’t look people in the eye when they talk, and stuff like that. it really depends on the kid and how eager he is to interact with other kids.
when my boyfriends brother was put on medicene to calm him, he became more anti-social. he would sit in his room the entire day.
My aspies are VERY social, and it’s not that all people with aspergers are anti-social, it’s that they don’t know APPROPRIATE social interactions. My kids share a little TOO much information, they talk on and on when people are finished, and they also go on about their interests without considering other topics.
i would think so. i mean, there are different degrees of the disorders. typically they cannot relate with others, they just dont get it or understand how to do so, but if its mild i would think that it wouldnt be as much of an issue. i saw something on tv the other day about a woman with asperger’s and she was a teacher.
i work with a man who’s daughter is autistic and she loves coming up and giving hugs to everyone she sees! it’s very cute. it really depends on the child. if you have suspicions, it’s best to take your son to a doctor. best wishes
it really depends on the degree in which they have it.
i know a kid that has autism and he does all the same things as his brother that doesn’t.
Yes… mine is very social and very talkative but does have limitations in his speech.
Autism is a spectrum disorder and affects every child differently.
Yeah, that’s why they throw the word Spectrum in there. Everyone is affected differently. Some people are off in their own little world, and others seem totally “normal”.
My name is David Maier and I am social Autistic. As a child, I was very extraverted. I can give you some information that might be helpful to the board as a social autistic.
In fact, I will give you my book which is in the early stages. It is long but, I will give the informtion I hope will help you all.
I am writing to you all today to explain a type of autism that is seldom talked about in autistic literature. This is a type of autism, that is different than many times because the person with autism is very social and friendly towards others. Nevertheless, the child or adult with this condition is truly autistic in the way they socialize, think, and function in this world.
Chapter 1: A portrait of the Social person with Autism.
Imagine you have a child who comes up to a stranger and says “Can you come over for dinner?” On the service, you would think this child is caring, and is being respectful. You would think the child would want to socialize with you. However, this is child is very naïve. When you consider social situations, you ask yourselves is this person someone you would know or not. For a child or an adults, who has this type of Autism, they are friendly to everyone and there is no boundary with who they relate to. The problem, is the child becomes very trusting.
Another example, of a child with this type of Autism, is the child that comes up to you and says “I have no friends, can I be your friend??””. The person with this type of Autism, will communicate and loudly say what they don’t like. However, they end be extremely confused by who is there friend. Children should play with other children. The child with this type of Autism, acknowledges he or she can’t make friends with other children. So, naturally they will turn to an adult, and will want emotional support.
A third of example, of a child with this type of Autism. Is a child that plays with other children and even participates in groups. An example was a five year old that I saw, he was imagining how to build a house. However, the house has to be build on his terms. Although, this child imagined how his house would be build. He constantly ordered the children to play his way. Other children, with this type of Autism will play with this child up to a point. However, eventually the typical child will become ticked and will just tolerate the child.
Chapter 2: What usually happens with this child or adult socially?
This child is socially ignored. They have enough social skills to survive in school and not get beat up or hurt. However, in regards to making friends they are just tolerated by there peers. The child will usually complain about their situation in not able to make friends. In fact, the whole school may end up knowing about there problem. This child is likely to announce to 500 children they don’t have any friends.
However, they don’t have a complete understanding about what they need to do. Some children and adults who have this type of Autism, do understand why they are bothering others. However, they don’t what to do next and anticipate the actions of others. They have great difficulty organizing social information. They may understanding a perspective of others, but what they do this information is a problem.
Chapter 3: How is this child diagnosed?
It really depends largely on when the child learns to talk. In most circumstances, however, the child is diagnosed with classical autism because they have had a language delay. However, I want to let everyone know, this child is VERY DIFFERENT than a child with Autism. They are way way less socially impaired than a child Autism. They are very different even from children that have high functioning autism or Aspergers.
Some younger kids with this type of Autism, may be diagnosed with Aspergers because this child has a good command of language and has some obsesssions. However, there are some very big differences. This child is very outgoing for starters. In addition, the child will ask for help if they need it. In fact, the child is likely to ask for the most help in the classroom. In addition, some children with this type of Autism are diagnosed with Aspergers because they have on obsessions a specific topic. However, it is very important someone ask “Does this child have other interests?” The child with Aspergers, has a tendency to focus on one thing and does not seem to have other interests. The child with this type of Autism may talk about on one thing, but can usually be steered on to something else. In addition, when you ask the parents about there child’s interests with this type of Autism, you will find the child has many many interests. This child may even talk about several other things. It is getting the child to talk about the interests that other children would find interesting is a problem. For example, one child talked about street maps. However, the parents noticed that he watched sports tv, he went camping and could talk about those things also . However, the child felt like he or she could only talk about one thing and could not talk about other interests. To help you illustrate, this is there a couple of professors with this type of Autism, one is involved in the MAAP organization and is friend of current president Susan Moreano, she has many interests and is very outgoing. Another friend of mine, who has this type of Autism said the following. I love to learn everything, but it is sometimes hard for me to talk about more than one thing at a time.
Some older kids with this type of Autism are diagnosed with ADD, because they organizational problems. There are big differences between a child with ADD and the social child/adult with Autism. Many people with ADD have this type of Autism instead of ADD. The difference is, the child with ADD has a problem sustaining attention in organizational tasks. The child with the social type of Autism usually has no problem paying attention but does not have a clue how to organize assignments, projects, or even how to get started, and hyperfocuses on something and is very much like a child with Autism or Aspergers this way . As a result, they may throw an assignment together or have a problem with time management issues on how long something would take. Socially, both types are very similar, they both struggle in social situations, in that they have a hard time organizing what they need to do in social situations. Both ADD and the social type of Autism, are different than a child with Aspergers/HFA in that they don’t have nearly the degree of problems with perspective taking, or with abstract academic issues. They don’t take everything literally. Both ADD and social autistics, however, are more literal than a typical person.
Chapter 4: The Child At School:
This child at school is very outgoing and will appear overfriendly. Children will complain the child never shuts up. The child will want to talk everyone. However, he or she may not realize that not everyone wants to talk to him or her. The child has same academic difficulties with school work like all children on the autism spectrum, but to a far lesser degree. For instance, the child may understand everyday jokes, sarcasm or irony. However, the abstraction needed to complete school assignments, or to interpret poetry, to take notes, or draw inferences from what is read or written is impaired. In addition, all people on the Autism Spectrum have problems organizing and planning time in school, especially assignments that are large and take a long of time. To a child with this type of Autism, the idea “Compose a persuasive paragraph” is very confusing. They don’t know how to get started. They will ask for help so much, that they hog the classroom where other students can’t get help. Even when they do ask for help, this child has difficulty knowing what to ask for help for? The child may not know how to ask for help. Just because you ask for help, does not mean you give the right help. The child will want help on several different things and can’t focus on what they really need help to begin with. In other words, they don’t ask for the right help that they actually need and there are many times don’t follow the teacher’s directions, because they don’t really understand what the teacher wants the child to do to begin with. When a professional comes in the room, this child will many times stare at the professional and do everything they can to please someone. The social person with autism, craves wanting to be pleased and they crave status or control for others. It is not uncommon, even for this child to run class president, or tell the teacher how to run the classroom. The child does not understand social hierachy that they won’t win the class election more than likely nor do they appreciate authority of others. To a person with this type Autism, the social world has to be on his or her own terms and will use and manipulate to do it, so there environemnt is controlled. Some children with this type of Autism, can be considered behavorilly disturbed, but this child is Autistic, and needs to considered as such, because of the organizational problems they have at school, and the ongoing problems they have socially with others with making friends. Many people with this type of Autism, get stuck on one thing as I mentioned early, but when asked to talk about something else they usually can be steered to other topics of interests. However, then they start talking about new things, the social autistic does not know when to STOP!!! and move on to other topics nor do they have a idea when enough is a enough. This child has a wide variety of interests and even enjoys typical childhood activities once introduced to them. If you introduce something to someone with this type of Autism, they will many times engage in the activity willfilly and want to play with other children.
Strategies to work with the social Autistic at School:
1. When given an assignment do the following:
1. Ask the student to write the direction in his or her own words or tell you what ever you would find easier in your class. Writing the direction twice allows to slow down and think. The social autistic is like a pinball and is very impulsive. By having, the child or adult or write instructions a second time, they get to think again, what do I need to do. Make sure the child is not just copying directions, but can put in there own words.
Example:
Circle the best choice:
What do I need to do:
Circle what I think is right
2. Check to see if the child appears to understand the directions.
3. Have the child complete the assignment
4. Really make sure that the child has followed directions.
The social autistic has a tendency to misinterpret directions. Especially, directions that are ambiguous. Care should be taken with essay assignments especially where more abstract information is required or assignments that are not factual in nature or are long. Many times essay questions, have a long details that have nothing to do what the teacher wants. It is important that the social autistic learn to highlight the most important thing. This can be accomplished with markers. Once the child highlight directions, then he or she needs to tell in there words.
What things can happen:
1. The child sits there and does nothing. (Common with HFA/Aspergers and more severe social autistics). The teech method or checklists may help. Sometimes showing that textbooks have a pattern will eventually solve this problem. (Not as common with social autistic, but does happen.)
2. The child does not read the read directions.
3. The child may misinterept what was asked. It is very important the child is not penalized for misinterpreting the directions. I have seen students with social autism write a 15 page research paper and they didn’t follow directions to begin with.
4. Provide more information than what is needed to answer a question or not give enough information
Essays and Big Projects:
1. Check in at every step to make sure they are following directions. Due to there organizational difficulties. They will need support.
2. Have a plan and break up the assignments in to small steps. Social Autistics like to want to finish things in one small swoop and not organize. Face it, organization is hard for social autistics.
How to ask for help and the Social Autistic:
The social autistic needs to learn how to ask for help. Many teachers think the social autistics ask for help “GOOD!, I am really helping this person, the problem is your not many times, even you think you are.” Due to the social autistics communication difficulties, the reason he or she is asking for help is because they don’t understand what they need to do. They are clueless many times. One social autistic girl, asked for help, but asked for help on seven different things. The teacher decided to help the girl. The girl got frustrated because she didn’t get the help she wanted. The child decided not to ask for help anymore, because she thought she would be considered stupid and the other peers would laugh at her. It is important, that when do ask for help that people should be intimiated to actually for help.
How to work with a social Autistic in terms for help:
1. The President of MAAP has used a strategy with herself that I personally would like to recommend for social Autistics, because many social autistics have her learning style.. It is very important a teacher’s follow these steps.
1. The teacher should tell the student the following: I will help you but you need to do this.
“ Write down the one thing that you need help with?”
“ Is this related to the assignment?” (If you say NO, don’t ask me”)
This sentence will be clear in fact it is should be written on several sheets of paper. It is called a help book. If the child can’t consolate there thoughts into one topic, then chances they don’t really need the help and you be wasting time if the child asked for help. The social autistic has a tendency to go off on tangents that don’t relate to the task at hand, due to their difficulties in organization.
Step #2:
Give the help that the student requested. In many ways, it will be like a typical kid this way because the child learned to get there thoughts on one thing rather than many things. See Autistic people are divergent thinkers, they think in possibilities rather specifics. Wheras typical people, think from general to specific. Make sure he or she followed step #1, if it is off topic or contains more than one help request don’t help the social autistic. Tell them that they need to go back and fill out the help book again before you help them. Social Autistics need to learn how to ask for help appropriately. In addition, they make talk about their personal life or things that have nothing to do with the task at hand. It is important you stay focus with what is going Now. Autistics think the future, they have hard time thinking in the Now.
Step #3 Check to see if the understand your help
Due to the social autistic’s communication difficulties they may not understand your help you requested. Always check to make sure they are doing the work properly. They should not penalized if you helped them and they are still lost. If this is case, say the following
“I don’t think you understand what you need to be doing, let me explain to you again.”
In addition, it would be helpful to have the child paraphrase what they do understand and break the task into small tasks. Communication is key with social autistics, they love to talk and will generally work someone.
Face the child has asked for help, they did the work, they still are lost. It is the teacher’s responsibility to clarify it until they get it. Here is the problem many teacher’s make the assmuption that if a student asks for help, they must always understand the help given. This assumption can’t be made with an Autistic person. They don’t always understand!! My friend a professor at a university who is a social autistic , said the following I would ask for help millions of times. I never understood the help given, so eventually I said nothing because I was afraid I would get teased.
How to work with tutors or other adjuct staff:
It is imperative that you talk to the person specifically what your child needs help. A social autistic as I said does not know how to ask for help appropriately. Just because you ask for help does not mean you know what information to ask. Many times the social autistic will go off on tangents. Again, a help book would be helpful. When coming to tutoring sessions, it is very important you focus one thing at a time. Autistic people learn step by step, things have to be broken down into small steps in order for the person to get to. Several different tagents, will make sessions quite ineffective.
Chapter 5: How therapists can be involved with this type of Autism
The child with this type of Autism to be told WHY they need this therapy. If the social autistic, does not know why they need it, the therapy will be quiet ineffective. Furthermore, if the see that they are being pulled from the classroom they are likely to see themselves as inferior/or less status. It is important the child know why they are going to see someone and what is going to be accomplished there. Furthermore, it needs clarified what behavior is expected in that they need to be quiet and do what they are told to do. The social autistic will have ways of controlling adults that are very bothering that I will describe later. If a professional does come in to see the social person with Autism, it is very important the social autistic know that they are coming, but they are told what they need to do in the classroom.. The social autistic is more apt to focus on the professional in the room than doing the school work. They know that the professional in the room may be about them. The social autistic will try to please an adult, because they many times don’t have friends with there peers and they know that see a professional that they have problem . In addtion, they will want to form a friendship with an adult. It is important that adults don’t do this and set boundaries. Otherwise, the child will not learn appropriate social skills. One social autistic who I worked with said the following “Can I be your friend, I don’t have any friends with my classmates, they all hate me, I need a friend badly.” The social autistic values a social relationship, which is very different from someone with Aspergers/HFA. When working with a child, with this type of Autism you HAVE TO ACT YOUR THERE FRIEND AND YOU CARE, even if you may not be. A child with Aspergers/HFA does not value relationships with someone as much and this is very very important distinction. They are more task oriented than relationship oriented. Helping a social autistic is about developing a work relationship with the person. If they don’t you, they won’t want to work with you, and in fact the school may know that you not liked. If a professional is bad, the social autistic will be the first to tell people that this person is bad.
Chapter 6: The Social Autistic At Home and in the community with peers
Many family members will just get used to the child’s behavior. Families need to understand though that a family is not the same as society. Not everyone will be understanding or tolerate of your social autistic son/daughter overfriendly mannerisms. Your child does have a serious social disability which at times is as impaired as someone with classical autism. Don’t assume because your child/adult has a conversation with you that everything is okay. It is not okay, or you would not have received an Autism Diagnosis for your child. It is imperative you teach your social autistic many social graces that I will describe below. These social graces are very different from someone with Aspergers/HFA as outlined below.
Social Problem #1- The rules of talking about information to people:
As I said, the social autistic does not understand topic boundaries. I confess I never shut up as a child. Everything that I talked about at home with my family would end up at school. My family had no privacy. I am going to ask you some questions, to you all readers. You will say “NO” to all of them. To a social autistic person, they will do many of these described below in some form or another
Coversation:
Dad: I made $1000 this week at Work:
Social Autistic at School in front of his class and peers:
My daddy made a $1000 at work today.
Grandpa: Ouch!, I weigh 400 pounds.
Social Autistic at school: Grampa, weights 400 pounds, my Grandpa’s fat.
It is important that this child know that certain topics are never okay at school. The social autistic would love to talk about these things. In fact, they love to talk about everything, it is the fact they love talk that is a problem. For starters, I think as readers you be insulted if you had no privacy. Furthermore, why do other people need to know everything.
How to teach this skill:
1. A visual map that explains home, school, and okay at both places. It is important that you explain we are going to do an exercise (Venn Diagram.)
2. Describe topics talked at home.
3. Describe what is talked about at school.
4. Describe okay at both places.
5. Tell him or her that you don’t feel comfortable that you are talking about things in front of others. Also, communicate with your child’s teacher. The teacher needs to be involved in reinforcing this. You as family members have a right to privacy. Don’t let your social autistic control your family this way. Don’t have your family reputation ruined by this person who wants to reveal everything.
(A visual diagram, and a verbal reinforcement, so they see and hear what they need to do.!!)
6. Rewards and Reinforcements.- It is very important you encourage him or her that you are not engaging in this kind of behavior.
How is this different from Aspergers/HFA- The child that has this does not generally feel comfortable about revealing family information.
Social Behavior #2- Self Disclosure about the childs Disability
One problem that social autistics have is to feel like they have to be appreciated by everyone. They need to realize if they can make a few friends, that is better than having nobody to talk to. They are in catch 22, they don’t want to get physically hurt or harrassed, but at the same time they realize they are different than other kids. They also realize that they are different from Aspergers/HFA. They are stuck in bind tell everyone they have Autism or risk getting hurt. Here’s the problem if they are telling everyone they have Autism they likely won’t have friends. If they say nothing, they may get beat up because other children don’t understand your child’s behavior.
I am going to ask you a question:
“Would you like the whole world knowing your child has Autism”
Why do I ask this, because a social autistic will likely tell everyone they have Autism including everyone at the school he or she has contact with. Again, the social autistic does not understand boundaries and at times it does not help this childs social skill by doing this. In fact, it is sometimes better he or she gets beat up and learns about what “NOT TO DO!!” these children won’t learn social rules unless they experience failure. Tell everyone they have Autism only puts a bandaid on a problem, it does not help a child learn how to interact. Social Autistics learn from experience and experiencing failure is a fact to life. No one is going to be successful in everything.
How to teach disclosure for someone with this type of Autism:
1. A venn diagram explaining Yes, I can disclose Autism, No, I shouldn’t disclose Autism, I ask should ask family members first before doing this.
Here is a general rule:
PEERS DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE SOCIAL AUTISTIC’S AUTISM
This child is making a mountain out of a mole hill with there social difficulties. The social difficulties can be worked on in therepy sessions with speech/language pathlogists and social workers. However, it is not in child’s best interest to be disclosing Autism with peers.
Where it is okay:
Another grown up, or teacher that is working with this child.
I personally would tell all kids that I had Autism within the first five minutes of them seeing me. I thought everyone would see me as a weirdo or geek because I had Autism. I wanted them to understand so I would have friends. The reality is that I made no friends they just tolerated me. This is a common experience I have seen with other social autistics. The playground is not the place to be talking about Autism. It is with other adults or professionals that will work your child. In fact, adults who have social autism will put Autism on their resumes and tell everyone at the interview. These are examples the child/adult would be better shutting up and saying nothing. The adult would probably would have the job if they kept their mouth shut. The social autistics are not impaired to answers phones, interact with customers or any of the job related things. Why if does not impair the person at work, does an employer need to know?
It is important again, that parents communicate with teachers about it. In addition, social workers and speech language pathlogists need to know also. There may be several reasons a social autistic does this. One is because of anxiety of wanting to feel they can fit in. Secondly, the child may be depressed and think they will get friends this way. One child who had Social Autistic even had the kids vote on whether they liked him or not. I kind of chuckled, but it is a big NO NO.
This is the first very important lesson a child needs to learn with Social Autism before any social work or speech/pathlogy therepy session will really be effective. The social autistic has to learn to trust themselves that they are confident in social situations.
How to build social trust in a social Autistic:
1. Have a turn taking game that kids can participate in. Social Autistics love games that other kids can participate in. A game of basketball, a game of chess. Just a game that they are socially involved with other kids that an adult monitors . However, make a rule that they can’t mention “AUTISM with other kids”. They need to pretend they don’t have it. Many kids that have Dyslexia or other learning disabilities just accept that they have and go with there lifes not so with social autistics. The goal with the social autistic is do the same. Get them to appreciate that they do know how to socialize and interact. The social autistic is a team player and is motivated to socialize. Reward your child after several events of playing other kids. The social autistic loves people, it not that they don’t like interaction, they interact differently.
A child will eventually gain friends from peers if they will just be themselves and not be afraid they will be a social weirdo. The rewards will come with therapy.
Social Therapy sessions:
I told you all what the first lesson is. This alone will not improve a social autistic social skills. They are going to need long-term help from speech therapy and social workers. In this part, I am going to briefly line how to best work with this child. Social Autistics are multiple learners they need visual, auditory, and hand’s on experiences. They learning by doing. They learn social information by experience and having to be taught. They don’t want to be preceived though like there a dummy in social situations.
Topic #1: Topic maintance
After a child or adult has learned to feel comfortable with themselves in social situations. They must learn topic maintence. If you don’t have the same interests, how you are going to make friends with others. The social autistic would love to talk about what they want to talk about. However, they think the others persons though are plain “BORING!, and just talk about themselves.” This is similar to Aspergers/HFA, but different. It is similar, in that there is egocentricity in understanding other peoples perspectives. There is a difference, the social autistic knows that the other child is not interested in what the child has to say. The key is to find common interests to talk about. I will give you examples.
The first thing that I am going to recommend is a social notebook that the president of MAAP uses before talking to others. Why do I recommend this, the social autistic is very impulsive they will want to talk about everything.” Eventually, the person won’t need this notebook, or will use it less often as they develop social skills.
The first page should outline what are my interests:
Have the child or adult make a list about what they like.
The second page is what does the other person like?
The social autistic is good at knowing what other people like, unlike someone with Aspergers/HFA.
The third page is conversation starter page:
”I need to talk to this person about _____________.
“Does this person care to know about what I want to say _________YES ___________NO
If they check NO, tell the Social Autistic, to NOT TALK ABOUT IT, It is very important. The child will at first get frustrated that they can’t talk and will appear like they have Aspergers/HFA and will be interverted, but in the long run they will learn what is not okay. That they can only talk about things that interest both parties not themselves.
The social autistic is very much like someone with ADD this way. They have to learn that some topics and special interests need to be done private and can’t be discussed in public. One social autistic talked to everyone about her trip to the dentist. I asked her afterwards “Do you think others want to hear about your dentist visit?” She immediately said NO. I showed her this page and she said after a couple weeks it was very helpful.
It is important that the social autistic, keep a notebook about each person that they come in contact with.
Topic #2 Transitioning from Topic to Topic in Conversation
Conversation follows a storybook. Yet, Social Autistics and people with Asperger’s/HFA don’t understand. The storybook of conversation. The fact is that Autistics are not linear learners, we are holistic learners, we have a tendency to say what is on our mind. With a person Aspergers, it is usually there special interest. The social autistic it will be whatever they feel like talking about at the time. They don’t talk and look non-verbal cue at the same time very well. The social autistic, will realize the other person is bored, but will continue talking anyway.
For Example: A social autistic said: I know have to leave…. , but the person kept talking anyway.
This is a skill that will have been developed over many years. How to read the non-verbal cue that I want to go and talk about something else . The social autistic does transition in conversation, but what do you think this person does. They dominate the conversation, all the transitions you will notice are on their terms. If someone else wants to talk about something, the social autistic does not internalize that this. When a typical person, does shift the conversation, the social autistic still is talking about what they want to talk about.
During the Conversation a book should be used. The book should contain what topics were talked about. Periodically, the social autistic needs to write down what the other person is talking about.
Example:
I am talking about _______________.
The other person is talking about ____________.
If they are different, END what you are talking NOW.
Do one of two things:
1. Change to what the other person is talking about
OR
2. End the conversation.
The fact is the longer then social autistic continues to talk on something different than what the other person wants to talk about . The typical person will be annoyed and/or irriated about this person
Topic #3 Ending Conversation
All conversations need to come closure. Social Autistics don’t get this. As I said, the social autistic loves talking to others and even in front of group. I HAVE NO FEAR OF SPEAKING IN FRONT OF GROUPS, IN FACT I WOULD EAGERLY TALK TO A GROUP OF 50,000 PEOPLE IF COULD. THE FACT THAT I LIKE TO TALK LIKE THIS SHOWS THAT I HAVE AUTISM. This is the problem that social autistics have, that people Aspergers/HFA generally don’t have. They will talk on and on and on. There is no ending in conversation and in addition they have no real fear with people. I could keep a teacher up to three hours after to school just talking not realize they have leave and go home. The teacher was very understanding, which was not good. Again, strategies need to put in place so conversations do end. One things that is important to walk away and quickly, don’t stay there.
An example I used with a social autistic who needed to get on a bus.
1. After school, the social autistic came up to talking to me about her camping trip. The trip I found interesting. The problem, she was keeping me from doing my work. Her camping trip went on for over fifteen minutes. She kept talking and talking. Finally, the buses were about to leave and she would have missed her bus and I was not getting my work done.
Step #1: I gave a non-verbal cue, seeing if she would read it, that I was bored.
Step #2: She said I know have to get on bus(Good, she read my non-verbal, most social autistics, get non-verbal cues). Okay, I said you internalize there are buses. However, she kept talking to me about her camping trip.
Step #3: I told her that I can’t talk to her any further, because I don’t her to miss her bus. She was more milder-moderate social autistic person and realized that she had to go home and left.
Step #4: If that did not work, I would walk or run away from that person, so she did have anyone to talk. Eventually, the social autistic will realize, no one to talk to. I better get on the bus and go home.
Step #5: If I have to use Step #2- Step #4, I would have a conference with the social autistic, the following day and say: I would not get angry with the person that day and the person have some time away the situation. I would say:
“I don’t like what happened yesterday. You kept me from working and you almost missed your bus. How can we work together, so we don’t have this problem” Most social autistics will come up with some things. It is important you offer your suggestions.
It is important to realize that social autistics, can get stuck about things similar to Aspergers/HFA. However, they have many interests usually. The social autistic needs to learn the concept of time and that there is a time and place for everything in the social world. A lot of learning social skills has a lot to do about timing.
Example:
If you wanted to play checkers with someone, it is okay to talk about checkers when you are playing checkers. What is not okay, is to talk about checkers all day along.
Teaching the concept of Time: (To a social autistic-coming later.)
I volunteered for special olympics and met many sociable children with autism.
my daughters nephew is autistic…he is very social…you can tell he is autistic but we still talk to him like hes a normal person and he talks too..i think he is in 8 or 9th grade now
I have a cousin with Aspereger Syndrome. He doesn’t do very well. It usually gets worse into young adult life. In childhood, it’s not too bad.
Yes. It just depends on how serious the disorder is.
yes definately
yes, my friend’s nephew has autism and he is social.
you are better off asking a qualified physiologist in that field they would point you in the right direction, and give you advice you probably never thought of i hope this helps
Hi we found you site very interesting and thought we would share with you a patch we have been using on our autistic daughter. It’s made an unbelievable difference in her attention span & behavior. It’s called Aura Patches and is not a chemical patch. Check them out @ http://www.internapure.com/Blog/2009/07/09/aura-patch-autism-protocol/ keep up the good work.
Darren N.
Atlanta, Ga.